Spend on What You Love - Personal Finance Link Love

I like weird food from food trucks, walking shoes that allow me to track miles around my city, fresh veggies, coffee (especially Kahlua coffee - thanks Grandma!) and the ability to treat my friends to food and drinks.

Worth every. damn. penny.

I will spend on these…a lot and that's ok because there's a lot of crap I won't spend on: expensive clothes, organic meat and eggs, sky-high rent, makeup. It's the balance that's the key. One of my favorite lines is:

"You can have anything you want but you can't have everything you want"

I'm a personal finance blog fan. There is so much you can learn and it was instrumental in helping me get out of debt and know what to plan and save for. Here are some of my favorites:

• Get Rich Slowly
• Wise Bread
• Give Me Back My Five Bucks
• I Will Teach You To Be Rich - warning: Ramit is not for everyone, but is highly entertaining if you have a "no excuses" attitude towards life

However, I don't believe in extreme frugality which is funny because that was the path I took to get out of debt. In retrospect, it was the wrong path. I gave up way too many opportunities because I couldn't see the forest through the trees and while I'm better off now for doing things that way, it is not the best way for everyone. I bought a designer purse the other day that I've been wanting for years (on sale of course). That's not to brag, it's to point out that I lived on beans and rice for a couple weeks to get it because I cared about quality. I have a friend who sold his skateboard collection to buy the best surfboard he could because surfing is his new passion. The older I get, the more I realize that all of life is a series of trade-offs. I choose to live in a crowded city that is community oriented where I am close to friends and opportunities than buy a home in an open suburb that I can make my own because to me, my friends are home to me. 

Of course, priorities change but in not only getting out of debt, but in every area of your life you should feel like you're doing things that are authentic to you (I'm sorry, that was too "Oprah" even for me). It's not always easy but as I told the Capn when he was thinking about selling a truck he loves - look at everything in your life and ask if it fits your life NOW? He's an outdoor guy who frankly needs a truck for all his activities. I sold my work suits and hi-heels because I work in a business-casual environment and usually walk a couple miles to work in the morning for exercise. Heels aren't gonna be practical for that. Humans have hoarderish tendencies. We have things to be reminded of good times, people we love and because we think everything has a use (no Mom, you will never use your crappy, dilapidated coffee tables that have been in the garage for 15 years). If it's not where you are today, get rid of it. Trust me, you'll feel 20 pounds lighter. Or sell it and spend the money on some sweet cross-trainers, a new symbol for your drums or whatever the hell is important to you.

What is worth it for you to spend money on? Let me know in the comments!

Decluttering for Fun and Profit

*This was one of my most popular posts from my now-defunct finance blog that I had a request to re-post. Don't worry, this is not a permanent thing!*

During the great financial meltdown of 2008 (that’s what I’m calling it at least), I was working at a law firm that was about to lay off 95% of its employees. There I was – five weeks into the job and I had just used every last dime of savings I had to pay off a credit card. This. Was. Not. Good. Instead of selling my body to science (yeah, that’s what we’ll call it), I decided to get creative in making more money. I already had two jobs and a side gig, what more could I do? After having another book fall on my foot from my rinky-dink shelf I realized I needed to sell, sell, sell. Looking around my apartment, there was so much crap I had but didn’t use.

•           Books – this was way before Kindle and even then I was questioning why I had kept my college accounting book. We always say that we’ll “use these for reference someday” but that day never comes gang. Put old textbooks and any book you haven’t read in the past two years online (Amazon or Google "used textbook sales"). Or donate them to your local library or Goodwill – you’ll get a tax write off.

•           Cd’s/Movies – when was the last time you watched that favorite movie of yours? How many times have you burned that Depeche Mode CD on to your computer? If it’s not on your tablet or laptop, how important is it to you really? Put it online or try to sell it to your local record store. You don’t know how much that Pixies album is worth until you check it out.

•           Clothes – I had a ton of good condition suits and nice shoes I bought for conquering the corporate world. Oops, damn college student hope. I was able to sell my suits to Buffalo Exchange and some other local thrift stores. eBay is always an option but I find they take so much in fees that it’s not worth it. If you have something with the tags still on, that’s the way to go. If you’re not finding any luck and could use some good karma, donate any business wear to Goodwill or Dress for Success to someone who could use it.

•           Large furniture – oversized dressers, armoires, coffee tables, random Ikea furniture left by old roommates – put it on Craigslist and make some money. Make sure to take clear pictures from different angles, provide measurements and always say in the ad that they need to pick it up. People are so transient here that I always check Craigslist before I go to Ikea – someone’s three-month old bed frame could be my discount remodel piece. I’ve also sold bikes, exercise equipment, cookware and video-game systems on Craigslist. Just be prepared to haggle, only let people pick up in the daytime and deal with cash only.

•           Get rid of your vehicle. This is very extreme but if you live in a place with good public transportation or are a couple who can carpool, the savings are insane. Getting rid of my lemon of a car was the single smartest economic decision I did. The amount of money I saved put a huge dent in my debt.

Hopefully by the end of this you’ll be a little more organized, have some extra money in your pocket and have some space to do yoga or set up your beer-pong table.

Out of Action….Jackson!

Well gang, things don't always turn out the way you want them to. I've been very much out of action for the past couple months and for that I apologize. The problem with writing is that there are stretches where there is nothing to say. Or, you have plenty to say but don't trust yourself to contain your emotions so you don't sound like a fucking lunatic.

Here's the skinny - the Crow permanently flew the nest and I've been dealing (?) with the aftermath of that decision. When you plan on spending your life with someone and I mean really plan (with money and in-law discussions), it's assumed you're all in. Turns out, that was just me. I'm not mad at him and don't plan on being - he made the best decision for where he is in his life. As much as it destroyed me, it is for the best and one day I will actually mean that. Through the EXTREME support of my family, friends and co-workers, I've been able to (slowly) get through this. I even started seeing a therapist and got on some mild anxiety pills to cope. (Seriously, go talk to a councilor or therapist if you're going though some tough times. It has been so helpful for me, especially if you have trouble believing positive things people tell you). I spent the first month after the breakup working constantly, sleeping on my couch and listening to four years worth of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me episodes.

We'll miss you Carl Kasell!!!

It's always surprising the things that provide comfort in bad times and by sticking to a strict routine, talking to anyone who would listen and actually shutting up and listening to others, the days have started to get easier and I was able to start making goals again. Although I lost the person I loved, I've been able to break down things better.

The good things:

• I met my emergency fund goal of having 3 months worth of living expenses.
• Getting in touch with old friends and getting to know them again in their new lives.
• Traveling to (finally) see my buddies in Pittsburgh and going to Chicago because I can.
• Being able to spend quality time with my cousin and get to know her new family (something I said I was going to do for years and plan on doing more of).
• Becoming a better friend - the support I've had during this has been amazing and it made me realize I was severely lacking as a friend. It's good to know that I can try to make it up to them.
• Getting closer to my family and seeing them as people with experiences and knowledge instead of seeing them under the bias of "family".
• Pushing myself to become more active again. I'll always regret not going on that final backpacking trip with the Crow, Tom and the Capn. I spent so much of my relationship saying "I can't" so I wouldn't hold anyone back instead of pushing myself to say "I can" and believing it. So, I'm going backpacking in two weeks!
• Being serious about yoga. It's worth the cost and I get to spend time with my lovely friend Zoe. Win-win!
• Understanding that I must find my next path in life and it's not in a cubicle.

The bad….

• Trying not to think about someone you still love and care about who may not feel the same for you.
• Crying. In. Public.
• (Inadvertently) Not caring about how I look and not having the energy to care.
• Dismantling the future I was promised that I didn't know I wanted.
• The self-esteem, self-worth issues and the questions that come with it.

I'm making it a point to work on the bad things everyday and at least I have more items on the good list.    I keep remembering something my amazing friend Leanna told me, "don't let this define you". I miss him every day but that doesn't matter, I don't want to spend my life with someone who doesn't feel the same for me. As simple a concept as that is, you'd be surprised how difficult that is to say. It seems I am strong in every area of my life except the one that seems to be the most important.

Since I need to create a new path, I'm going to write here more and change the feel of the blog a bit. A few more finance posts, maybe a couple dating ones when I'm ready and mostly trying to navigate the world of not quite feeling like the adult my retirement account claims me to be. Comments are always welcome as well as post submissions. Thanks for coming along!

Hugs and steamed pork buns,

The Commander