Spoiler alert: No "Happy Endings" are involved in this story!
Oh the things we do for those we love. A few months back, Charlie and his girlfriend were able to get a deal on a couples massage that they loved. So much so, that Charlie will randomly bring up how amazing it was and that we should all go. Well, (unfortunately?) it landed into the ears of the Crow who decided to squawk it out to me when we were walking through a particularly scuzzy section of the Tenderloin, littered with "massage parlors".
What kind of shower are we talking???
We usually make the random stereotypical Asian massage girl / happy ending jokes every time we pass these places but this time the Crow actually said, "hey we should get one of those". I looked at him curiously, "what, crabs? Herpasyphilitis? Bedbugs"? He started laughing, "No, a couples massage. You know, like Charlie was talking about". When I think of couples massages I think of a Cialis commercial or one of those creepy communes. But I'm trying to be more open to new experiences (within limits) and Charlie IS pretty convincing. Plus I remembered that the Crow had been having some back problems so I said, "lets do it! I'll take care of everything...but not in the TL. I haven't gotten my rabies shot in awhile". He looked as happy as a fat kid at the ice cream truck and all I saw were dollar signs.
Now for the record, I am NOT against massage. I fully believe in the health benefits and recognize how hard massaging people can be on your hands. Having said that, it's fucking expensive! Justifiably but still, my cheap ass is just as happy "treating myself" to those Asian dudes at the mall with the $12 chair "massages" that leave you looking like you have scoliosis.
Still, I love the Crow so I took my cheap hat off and booked us a massage at one of the massage chains in the city. After having the receptionist comment that the Crow's real name sounded like a supervillian's name, we were taken to our massage room where we greeted by warm temperatures and Chinese violin music. It was supposed to be calming but we kept making fun of it...like people do when they're out-priced for a service. As the Crow was stripping down he paused, "so uh, do we go totally naked"? Huh, you know they don't mention this in massage etiquette so I just used common sense...and humor. "You go as low as you want...but I WILL be peeking!" After a guffaw, we agreed to stick to our undies and got our massages. Luckily, the Crow had an amazing experience that he went on and on about. I on the other hand left looking...like I have scoliosis! Damnit, my masseuse sucked! I had pain in my feet that I didn't know I could have and an over-massaged head (yes, that really happens)!
So as the Crow and I walked hand-in-hand back towards the ghetto, talking about how we need to do more "couple" things together, I suggested skydiving. I figure maybe I'll be flailing so much that I'll be able to put all my muscles back into place. Oh, the things we do for love....
I see she went to the place at the mall too...
Still, I love the Crow so I took my cheap hat off and booked us a massage at one of the massage chains in the city. After having the receptionist comment that the Crow's real name sounded like a supervillian's name, we were taken to our massage room where we greeted by warm temperatures and Chinese violin music. It was supposed to be calming but we kept making fun of it...like people do when they're out-priced for a service. As the Crow was stripping down he paused, "so uh, do we go totally naked"? Huh, you know they don't mention this in massage etiquette so I just used common sense...and humor. "You go as low as you want...but I WILL be peeking!" After a guffaw, we agreed to stick to our undies and got our massages. Luckily, the Crow had an amazing experience that he went on and on about. I on the other hand left looking...like I have scoliosis! Damnit, my masseuse sucked! I had pain in my feet that I didn't know I could have and an over-massaged head (yes, that really happens)!
So as the Crow and I walked hand-in-hand back towards the ghetto, talking about how we need to do more "couple" things together, I suggested skydiving. I figure maybe I'll be flailing so much that I'll be able to put all my muscles back into place. Oh, the things we do for love....
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