Things Crackheads Have Said To Me

• "You might be sexy if you had an extra 150 lbs on ya. It's like you was late to dinner and all the biscuits and chicken was gone!"                                                                                                          

              (Side note: my sister had the best response to this: "It's true! I'm glad that crackhead told
               you the truth. Now eat something bitch, you know you hungry!")

• "Hey man, I'll trade you a busted lighter for your burrito! Hey, where you goin? I smoked a lot of crack with this bitch....it's valuable!"

• (To the Crow) "You better hold on to ya' woman man...she got a big ass and look like she can cook.

               (To which the Crow patted his nonexistent gut then swatted me on the ass and said "hell 

                yeah!" It's nice to know you can heckle crackheads together...)

• (Screaming outside a window at 2 a.m.) "Rodney!!! Rod-neeee! Hey bitch, you aint' Rodney!"

              (My favorite. The Crow and I will interrupt each other mid-conversation to yell "Rodney!!!")  

    

• "Hey girlie, you look like you know where to score some uranium..."

And finally just today as I was leaving for work:

• "Hey bitch, good luck on ya' job interview! If you get it, come buy some rock from me!"

...for the record, I wasn't going to a job interview and I have never bought crack. Not even as a gift! Happy Wednesday!